Been a Long Time…
Well, it’s been a long time since I posted anything, which I guess is a good thing. I don’t have quite the need to talk about pulling so much. It’s been about 10 weeks since I committed to stopping this and I’ve managed to go with only pulling those two hairs. Otherwise, I guess I’m good. I have been chewing my hair again, which is a definite set back, but I’m going to focus on the positives right now and be glad I’ve made it this long without getting into a pulling frenzy. I frequently uncover my “area” in the mirror (which is something I would never do before out of terror) and can see how it’s growing in. Albeit, it’s grey as a mule. On the plus side, my hair is growing back, which was a serious concern of mine, though it’s taking some time and is not as full as it could be in the areas I’ve pulled from over the past few years regularly. It’s still thin enough that there’s scalp showing, but I’m thankful for what I have now, and I feel like any progress is good progress. I definitely don’t lay awake at night worrying about my bald patch like I did, because I’ve regained some control and that’s what’s important. These things take time and I’m learning to be gentle with myself even if I did screw my hair up… I’m starting to believe it’s fixable at least, which is an immense comfort. I won’t lie and say I’m not tempted all the time though, because I am. I touch that place where the hair is growing back, and feel how coarse and kinky those hairs are, and it’s all I can do not to pull them, but I’ve managed to hold strong. I just want so much to be able to get that sexy hair cut that, combined with the progress I’ve made, it’s enough to keep me from following through with the deed.
I think it’s going to be OK. I really do. And if anybody reads this and wants some hope, it’s here honey… It really is.
